What on God’s green earth is happening in politics? We’ve got an unhinged, blatant would-be dictator claiming people can choose to be Black and promising to eliminate the vote, and let’s not forget the competition — not Kamala Harris, the reasonable alternative, but the *checks notes* bear murderer with a bug in his brain.
This is not a drill. I wish it was, but no, we really have a candidate running for office in the year of our lord 2024 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. thought it was wise to share a strange and thoroughly off-putting tidbit in a disturbing video to X. In the post, Kennedy itted to some very strange behavior, and in the process solved a decade-old mystery.
What did RFK Jr. do to a bear cub?
Trump tends to take center stage in the unhinged circus that is modern United States politics, but RFK Jr. is doing his absolute best to keep up. While Trump rattles off lies, racks up convictions, and spouts unintelligible propaganda, RFK Jr. is busy promising to “not take sides” on 9/11 of all things, bragging about mercury poisoning and brain worms, and detailing how he dumped a bear corpse in Central Park a decade back.
Its a wild claim, but its also true, and RFK Jr’s little ission is actually working to solve a case that’s been stagnant since 2014. He informed Roseanne Barr — yep, the cancelled comedian — that he was the culprit behind a mysterious bear body discovered in Central Park a decade back, and he’s got a wild story about how it ended up there.
According to Kennedy, he was headed out for a big day of Falconing with friends when the woman driving in front of him struck and killed a young bear. Not wanting the meat to go to waste, Kennedy scooped up the corpse, gathered it into his vehicle, and made plans to take it home and skin it later on. Unfortunately, his plans went late, forcing the presidential candidate into a truly strange corner.
He needed to get to the airport for a flight, but he had a deceased bear in the boot of his car. So, rather than do anything reasonable or logical — no, I don’t have suggestions, I’ve never consumed roadkill — Kennedy instead hatched a plan to dispose of the body somewhere nice and public. He headed down to one of New York City’s most frequented areas — Central Park — and dumped the body, along with a stray bike he had on hand, somewhere he knew it would be found. He even staged things to make it look as though the bear had been struck and killed by a bicyclist.
That decision led to a full-blown police investigation, but one that never actually led much of anywhere. It’s now been solved, however, thanks to Kennedy’s big ission, while the public at large is left to scratch our heads in increasing bafflement. This would be a wild, unhinged story from your crazy uncle Randy, but from a presidential candidate? It’s utterly deranged, and Kennedy’s offering it up like its an update from the office gossip.
The strange revelation could help explain the presidential candidate’s consistently unbalanced behavior, however. He seems to get stranger with each ing day, and a curious connection between two of his recent issions could spell the reason why. See, it seems RFK occasionally makes a meal of deceased bears, and he also told reporters earlier this year that he had parasites in his brain. Bear meat, particularly the undercooked kind, is notorious for containing parasites — trichinella are common culprits — and it seems they made their way from that meat RFK is so fond of, and straight into his grey matter.
Coincidence? I think not.
Published: Aug 5, 2024 12:53 pm